Episode Transcript
Speaker 0 00:00:01 I'm ordering Fort McMurray, wood, Buffalo, and the rest of the world. You've tuned in to the Mac city morning show. I am your host, Elliot Pierre, and we're going to start the show off the same way we start every show off with a moment of gratitude. I know you could be doing a million other things with your time. And the fact that you spend with us truly does mean the world to me. So thank you on that note, Tanner hit him with you.
Speaker 1 00:00:19 Oh, she caught me, loves near listened to the next.
Speaker 0 00:00:28 All right. And we're back. Okay. We got a fun guest today, but as you guys know, I don't introduce my guests, uh, because they can do a better job of that than myself. So on that note, can you please tell everybody at home who you are and what you're about?
Speaker 3 00:00:39 I fought Pinkberry, Buffalo and restore the world. My name is Natasha and I'm originated from India. I'm here from Fort Peck Murray from last 10 years. Uh, I'm living with my husband Samir. I have two children, uh, named Sparsh and Sonica, and that's me. My parents are in back home, India. My brothers, I have two brothers. I have two younger brothers and they are, their family are in Australia. I brother-in-law in USA. So we are everywhere. Like we don't go. We every, every time we go somewhere, we don't need to book a hotel because we have listed there. We have friends, family. So yes, that's
Speaker 0 00:01:20 Very cool. So how you and I met is I do a course at Canno college and I teach a bunch of, uh, interpersonal skills, preparation for interviews and things like that. And you were part of the cohort that was there as well as the networking event, we did a little bit of networking and then you got brave enough to say, Hey, I'd like to come on your show. So that's pretty cool. But you had something in particular that like I know nothing about. And I really, I know nothing about this, but it was arranged marriages. So let's just talk about it. Like, I think everybody at home has heard about an arranged marriage. I know there's a show on Netflix. Now that chats about it. I've never seen it. I don't know anything about what it means. Matchmaking. Is that what it's called? So let's hear a little bit about like a,
Speaker 3 00:02:06 Yeah, sure. Uh, being an Indian, I always person, my friends. And as soon as I make myself comfortable, they asked me how you have arranged marriage. How can you judge some person about like in a one minute or maybe half an hour or maybe three meetings? How can you judge this one? Right. So I have a simple answer that the marriage or girlfriend or any kind of relationship is completely gamble. Right? You can see that. Or orange marriage is a great it's successful. We can have like three or four days unbiased debate regarding that, like it's right or wrong. It's you don't have any answer you don't need to, or there's no particular answer that arranged marriage is good or low marriage is good. No, never, but whenever I have a platform or whenever I have a challenge channel to say something about arranged marriage, uh, I want to say that, um, before that I make a small story.
Speaker 3 00:03:03 Like whenever my, my daughter is, was in grade three last year. Okay. There is a curriculum about India and they mentioned that there is an orange barrier. The people are mainly connected with orange marriage. And, uh, after that, my daughter asked me that, okay, are you going to make decision for me that who I'm going to marry? Like there is one. Oh yeah. It's actually the one line on the paper they say is that, can you believe that a question, mark, your dad or mom will decide your spouse. Oh, so they're putting bias in right away, actually. Yeah. So my point is definitely orange meds. That's up to you. You want to go with Lamar as you can go with orange marriage, but the parents are not forcing their child to get that person, boy or girl. Right. So my point always like that, my point for my children and even my parents, they never forced me to get orange red. Definitely. I have orange marriage. It's been like 18 years and I'm like, so happy with that. So definitely for me, it's a different answer. Yes. I'm so glad that I got this person on the first click. Right, right. Orange bears is like, you had to see done one person. If you don't like, you had to jump on next one. Right. But I got the first person who like, I was like, it is my dream person. So yeah. That's me. That's awesome. Shout out to your
Speaker 4 00:04:31 Parents for having good picking skills. Yeah.
Speaker 3 00:04:35 Oh, it was blessed about that. Uh, that like, Hey, I got this man. And he, that always, the, the goal is always, don't like, everyone are being mad about me. No, I don't want to be personality or I don't want to be celebrating. I want just one person who can be honest with me who make me, who treat me like a princess, that's it. And I got that person. I don't need anything from him. So I'm perfectly set for that. So my point is arranged marriage doesn't mean that your parents are forcing you to get that person. Maybe they try to not the convenience. We did try to just tell that that's the main point. That's a good point. That's a bad point if you want, but Lee's believe me, uh, maybe on an average, the orange bag, it means the force, but my parents are, I mean, I don't want to make a average person. And like, it is a main for me, my parents, they never, I have two brothers too. They never forced me for anything. Not even arrangement, even other sides too. Even my former, husband's like to Samir his family is open for everyone. Like we bought both VBA, chose each other of the parents for, so that's my main concern. So that message for me, my girl, don't worry, girl. We are not going to force you. So, uh, yeah. Don't listen on that paper, please.
Speaker 0 00:06:03 There we go. Arrangement is different than force. That's right. It's a different word. So you have two brothers, were they in arranged marriages as well? Yes. Okay. So how does this work in regards to there's a lot of people on this planet. So how do you, how's the filtering process go down? Like, do you like have to fill out like a sheet of like your likes and dislikes and what you're looking for? Um, I've seen a little bit on TV in regards to it's a little bit based on like, is it the caste system or something with astrology and stuff like
Speaker 3 00:06:37 Has not like any more, any more like that all are combined, but definitely. I don't say I don't deny that that is a core system, but not nowadays. It's a story about olden days, like hundred or 200 years. Okay. So that is the system. And the question, the answer about your question is always a family friend or family. They can help each other. They say, Hey, I ha I know about this boy or this person in, uh, who are looking for their goal. That's kind of like a loop. That's kind of, if it's match, that's fine. Otherwise we can go for another option. Right. That's a one option. The second option we have definitely, uh, the matchmaking office tool where they get the bowtie dice, like kind off the thing, like, what's your name? Where do you leave? What kind of study, what you are looking for? Like kind of criteria, the criteria criteria. Right? So they can, they can try to match with each other and if it's match that's okay. Otherwise next. No worries.
Speaker 0 00:07:38 And the other thing that I saw recently, like, cause you see, you see things, um, and you mentioned it as well. You got lucky on your first match. Yeah. Now, as far as I was always kind of conditioned to think, what do you mean first match? You can go round one, round two, round three, round four. So how does, how does that work? So like in my head and from kind of what I've seen on television with an arranged marriage, the wedding data's picked you show up, you've never seen the bride. The groom has never seen, you've never seen the groom. And all of a sudden, you just say, oh hi, this is it. But you're saying so in certain cases, there's meetings before the actual ceremony, then the wedding. Yep. Okay. Explain that to me. I didn't know about that.
Speaker 3 00:08:23 We are talking about the matchmaking, like the procedure of matchmaking or
Speaker 0 00:08:27 I didn't know. You could meet before. So in your process, you meet before I thought you just met your significant other on your wedding day. I didn't know that there was meetings prior to that.
Speaker 3 00:08:38 No, no, no. That's for sure. No, it's not like, oh, that's your one meeting. You have one arm and next, next time you are going to meet in a waiting time. No, it's not like that. You can meet with the person, like how many times, if you want nowadays that people can do phone by chatting to so just they can get the idea of each other. Cause it's definitely it's it's not good about just one meeting. If I, I am showing myself, I'm going to show you a best part of my personality. Why should I show that? Like, I am not good at that point. So definitely it's only get to know about each other. If you're meet each other by phone, by chatting or by anything. It's like, it's not a particular time, like three times. No, it's not about particular. You can meet as many time before you do commitment and that's nothing, nothing.
Speaker 0 00:09:28 There's somewhat of a dating process then. Yes. Okay. Now when you are meeting, does it have to be chaperoned meetings or can you meet on your own?
Speaker 3 00:09:38 It's up to you like, first of all, the parents are with their,
Speaker 0 00:09:43 For the first
Speaker 3 00:09:44 Time. Right? Because they try to make a comfortable both side because sometimes that both families are strange for each other. Right. If we know each other, that's perfect. Fine. But a zoom that, yeah. Then we try to talk with each other about X. And why is that? Because that's not a job interview. That's not like, okay, you have no, it's like make a fun, enjoy the process. Right. It's kind of, you're meeting with someone who is completely new and you have to make decision. So it can be happened for one time. You can pull it for one time. You can click after 10 times. If you don't click it for 10 times, it's okay. That's fine. That's fine. It happened. It's happening because it's a big, big,
Speaker 0 00:10:28 I would have like, yeah, that's a misconception. I think I'm glad you came.
Speaker 3 00:10:32 I didn't know this.
Speaker 0 00:10:34 No. Okay. So my next question is, um, once you guys have decided like, okay, I, uh, I like this as a match. We're going to do this. Like when the wedding is planned, is this something like traditionally, like in Western civilization that the wedding is a big deal in regards to like, and it, but it's primarily done by like the wife, the woman in the traditionally, she's the one who's really excited. I know the groom. You might have a little bit of input, but it's not your day. So in this culture, like how, who puts the weather? The wedding together is this like the families get together? Is it the bride? Does the husband just like in Western society be like, listen, I'm out. How does that whole
Speaker 3 00:11:14 It's kind of, kind of like this one usually, uh, because, because doctor, like parent of daughter are so blessed about doctor, they went to make sure whatever doctor wants, what doctor's dream are being fulfilled. The ma that's not about the money thing. That's kind of opportunity know if it's my daughter. I want to make sure everything, whatever she want, whatever I want as a mother or father, we want to fulfill. So I don't want to get any con that's kind of privilege. I don't want to share my privilege to anyone because that's kind of, that's the best thing. That's kind of a VAR. You are celebrating your thing. Does God give you a VAR and you are celebrating. So that's a main thing. That's kind of be helpful. Right? It's kind of a good way. Like I want to do everything for my daughter. Right.
Speaker 0 00:12:11 Okay. Now, now let's talk about your daughter for a second. So you, um, when you went through the process, you did this back home. And so obviously like it's more commonplace back there that this transpires, um, and now you've decided like my parents had decided immigrants to move to Fort McMurray where there's not high volume of your culture, I guess now in Fort McMurray, it's a little bit better, but you definitely don't have the same type of options. So how do you do that in north America, in a Northern community in regards to, if you do decide to go down the arranged marriage, like, how are you finding the proper suitors? How are you hooking that up?
Speaker 3 00:12:49 That's a good question. It's an app. Always curious how it will happen, but something, something is in my mind, it's not like step by step, but me be kind of condition. If like my doctor Sonica or Sparsh both of you, uh, we don't, we first offer them even right now. My Spanish is 14. So now even now we can say that, like, if you want, like, if you want to go with any girl, if you like, girl, please go ahead and be shared with us. And I don't say like, oh, I need Indian girl or I don't, I don't say, eh, I don't want any bracket. I am going to like we in some year too, he is a, he is more open than me. I am more like more cultured person, but I may say, no, mom, you have to be ready for anything because here definitely we have a good community.
Speaker 3 00:13:39 Here. We are. We are blessed about that. We are numbers of people here. We are family. We are friends here. So we are okay. I hope so. But if something happened, definitely. I prefer that. Whatever you like, whatever, here's 14 years. Yes. But I'm still like, so my husband, he has to make me really mom, you had to be ready. Let him go because yeah, we don't have a much more time. Only three or four years, that's it. And then we have to leave them. But that's just a one point. I will keep that open. And if it's not, if he wants to go and arrangement, definitely I have to talk with my friends, my families, my brother-in-law is in the USA. My, my, my two brothers are there. My parents are there so we can give you option. We can show them. But that's the thing. It's the last thing, whatever. He decide, whatever he likes.
Speaker 0 00:14:38 Okay. Well, listen, repped part of the show called the Mac city minute. This is Tanner segment. So he's going to ask these questions. I don't know what he's going to ask you. So I wish you nothing, but the best Tanner hit her with the max 30 minute.
Speaker 3 00:14:48 Yes. Jenner. I'm ready. Number
Speaker 4 00:14:51 One. What was the thing you were most surprised to find out about your husband after your arranged marriage?
Speaker 3 00:14:58 Perfect. I always think I like, he's very honest with me, but I always, uh, like very one thing is very, I'm surprised that he doesn't like injections whenever it's time for injection. He like, yeah, he has needle problem. He behaves like he's a baby. So that kind of as, uh, okay. So mirror, he is strong enough. He is strong enough. He is very good about all conditions, but he is BB, but it comes with the needle point. Okay.
Speaker 4 00:15:30 Question number two. What is the most interesting story you have from your many travels?
Speaker 3 00:15:36 So many Chavez like, oh, I can say one surprise thing about here, Canada. Usually when we cross the road, even as a stranger with mine, it's very surprising for me. Or usually if I don't know, doesn't matter, I say, hi, how are you? Or in smile and cross the road or cross. So that is very surprising about me, especially in Canada, the multicultural, like the welcoming part. That's very interesting. That's surprising for me.
Speaker 4 00:16:07 Yep. Question number three. What is the biggest reason you chose to have an arranged marriage?
Speaker 3 00:16:14 Uh, I don't choose. It happened and yeah, that's like kind of, because he's a family friend of my uncle, his family, his family, friend of my uncle. So I always see his, a secure, secure house. The parents are, so I V inquired about it. Like, how are the family is? And they always say, I I'll be always get the respond that the family is very open. They won't change. You. They want can work in their daughter-in-law will make, remain, remain like whatever you are, please. What B be like that? There is no companies in between gallery boy. My husband has just one brother. They don't have any.like sister, but they have value of sister. They have all value of doctor value of girl. So that's main thing for me. So that's why I chose like, okay. I have like backup, good backup, strong backup from my parents. Uh, Becca from my family. Friends. Why not? Let's go there.
Speaker 4 00:17:17 There we go. Okay. Question number four. What was your biggest shock from your first time in Canada?
Speaker 3 00:17:24 The weather thus? No. Uh, I like to have eyelashes. Like I liked to have makeup, but when I just froze after certain time, it's like, I don't say jump because I was aware when we, when we fight here, we just search about the homework and stuff. We know about the weather, but something, something like the swimming, you know? But whenever you go in, you feel like, oh, that's something different, but that's happened to me. The electric, you had to plug in the car, really. You had to plug in the car, something that's different for me, uh, all regarding the weather, but now something I'm enjoying. There you go.
Speaker 4 00:18:09 Yeah, there you go. That's strange. Cause I don't your final question. What is one thing about Fort McMurry that reminds you of where you grew up?
Speaker 3 00:18:21 It's a home. It's a home. Only the connection is the home because I am I'm from, uh, in India. I'm from the place where everyone know each other. Maybe by, not by, not by name. Maybe not by address, but I know almost like a family of faith, right? It's a Fort MC is a kind of home. You know, everybody, right? You maybe know don't know name or maybe not. Oh, here's that person's mom or that person's son, maybe everything is more like connected. It's a better than to go in a big city. And you lost somewhere better. Be here with your own family, with your own member. So that's make a connection. That's make a memory. It's kind of all thread where I'm being connected, but that's my marriage.
Speaker 4 00:19:09 And those have been your five questions.
Speaker 3 00:19:11 There you go. Perfect. Thank you Tanner for amazing questions. Yeah,
Speaker 0 00:19:14 He kills it. He kills it. So listen, we're at the end of the show. 20 minutes flies Before everybody gets to go though, you get a shameless shout out or plug. So you got the cameras on, you have the mic, you have the lights have fun.
Speaker 3 00:19:30 Okay. Uh, my thing is for thank you to everyone. Thank you, Allie. Allie. Thank you Tanner. To gain me opportunity to say something. And my second things go will be going for some year. My husband's Sparsh Sonica. They are my pillar of my life, my personality, um, my brother, my parents, my like my in-laws, my brother-in-law the main thing, uh, for Samir and for everyone of my life, they give me a wing to fly and I'm flying right now. They never stopped me to do anything. They always encourage me, like even for my son and daughter too, they always say that mom, you can do it. Please do it. So yes, I am doing something different. Like I'm starting, my course I'm studying after 18 years. So that's my different thing. Right? So always believe yourself that you can do it. Uh, that's my main thing that, you know, you're stronger than you taught to believe yourself and make sure you motivate your family, family member. So that's it. And thank you very much.
Speaker 0 00:20:43 That was the best shameless. Shout out a plug we've had yet hands down. So listen, thank you very much for coming on the show, please, please, please feel free to come back again and again and again. We'd love to have you back and I have so many more questions to ask you, so thank you for your time. I appreciate it today.
Speaker 3 00:20:58 Okay. Goodbye. I would say by only because I want to keep my bracket open hour. I want to do peers, peers, some sometime call me again.
Speaker 0 00:21:07 I will. Okay. Okay. Well Fort McMurray, wood, Buffalo, and the rest of the world. That's been another episode of the Mac city morning show. Thank you so much for tuning in. It means the world to me. I hope you're having a great day and we'll see you tomorrow face
Speaker 5 00:21:23 It's another Mac city morning show.
Speaker 6 00:21:37 Yeah. Talk about quenching your ugly thirst.
